LANARK LANIMER DAY
An ancient celebration held within the Royal Burgh of Lanark on the Thursday between the Sixth and Twelfth days of June annually since the year 1140.
 

It Pays To Advertise

You have heard the old saying, if you want to get rid of something or sell something that's useless, a wee advert will do the trick. And it does work, just ask the Crazy gang. Our first go at this was a small ad on our Lanimer Lorry, 'Tich for Cornet'. Then we expanded this to 'Lord Cornets should buy Shetland pony for Tich', 'Lanimer Committee buy scaffolding so Tich can get on horse, and parachute lessons to get him off'. Next, 'Tich goes to Blackpool Beach for riding lessons on the donkeys' and last but not least, 'Tich buys built up shoes to be same height as Lanimer Queen'.

But why leave the most successful humorous lorry ever to become a Cornet. You just get on a horse and ride around the church. But the Crazy gang have even done that. Can you remember our church and our cloned Lord Cornets? It was the year Jim Forrest was Lord Cornet and it was also the year that the first male Lanimer 'Queen' was Mr Tich Downie. But he was not the first 'man' to be Lanimer 'Queen', that honour goes to Rita Mann from St Mary's Primary School.

Or is it because you can carry a flag around the Town? Well we have done that one as well. Remember when the Wallace Cave went around the procession and a certain gentleman, acting as my valet, carried the English flag? Again it was Mr Tich Downie.

Maybe it's so he can take part in the Cornet's Race on the Monday night, but the Crazy gang have done that too. Our race is to see who is first in to the 'Cave', but a certain Mr Downie has never won that race.

But we think we know why he wants to be Lord Cornet. He wants to give us material for the sides of our future Lanimer Lorries and make our Lorry more famous than it is already! And remember, this will be our fourth Cornet. The two Grays and Gregor Bone (an ex-Cornet but never a Cornet - a printing error somewhere).

When you are reading this article, just think what we can write about our Lord Cornet this year, and every one a gem:-

1. The first 'Queen' to be Cornet.

2. The Tichiest Lord Cornet.

3. The first Cornet to be sashed by a man. (You would have had to be at the show in the Memo on 28th Feb to know what I mean).

But the main reason we have advertised Tich for Cornet is that since the Lanimer Committee put up a trophy for Humorous Lorries, we have not won it and we have now found out why. It is because we are always late up at the judging because we are always waiting for Tich to buy his round. (Sounds like a Cornet to me!) So this year if anything is late you will know that they are waiting for the Cornet to buy a drink ...

The Crazy Gang

P.S. Tich, Janet and the girls, have a good week.